Clearly born out of a longing for variety, a plan was made to invade Ninja Island in between the usual four daily ninja invasions in WHORE ISLAND. The plan was scribbled quickly by Captain James Crab and consisted of “Go in, kill everyone, leave”. The plan was almost entirely successful.
The mission began at 2 pm and was off to a rocky start due to the commander of the fleet, Captain Frederick B. Coates, being staggeringly drunk and leading the fleet to the opposite direction. They failed to persuade the captain to turn around, especially after he vomited enough alcohol to set two ships on fire and passed out (or died, nobody is yet sure because no-one wants to touch him). So the rest of the fleet abandoned Coates’ ship and his confused crew and corrected the course.
They arrived at Ninja Island at 3:30 pm. One of the ships was under the command of novice captain Darick Donahue, who apparently was unaware of the correct procedure and, while all the other ships anchored, he kept sailing forward at full speed, against the warnings (and desperate screaming) of his crew. His ship hit the sand so strongly a lot of the crew was thrown overboard. Donahue himself managed to hold on, but had his unpromising career in pirating cut short by a mast falling on his head. He and part of his crew were the only casualties, at least until we hear back from Captain Coates.
The remaining captains and their crews invaded the island on small boats and caught the ninjas unprepared. To their credit, though, the ninjas did pull themselves together very quickly, not that it helped them. Their shurikens were, as always, innefective, since they get caught on the pirates’ beards and body hair. Some pirates do complain it is a pain to remove them afterwards.
Giving up on the shurikens, the ninjas drew their katanas, but a lot of pirates who are not as old-fashioned drew AK-47s, and that was that. The mission was a partial success because the surviving ninjas went into hiding — one thing they’re undeniably good at — and because of the death of Captain Donahue, although considering his pirating skills, his demise can be seen as a bonus.
WHORE ISLAND predicts one or two days of relative peace thanks to the mission.
